dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
