Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
