No stitches, just platelets and will power
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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