WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
