CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
