I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
