1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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