I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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