Sponge bath it is.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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