My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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