I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
