the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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