It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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