are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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