let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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