But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
