just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
