Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
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I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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