I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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