I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You work out of a Hotel?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
