we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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