dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He passed out mid-signature
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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