Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize