im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Green mimosas i think yes
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
