My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
not ubering you a puppy
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
