My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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