i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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