she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
