Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
wanna go halves on a baby?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
