I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Acid is not a monday night drug
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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