Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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