Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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