My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Someone shattered a urinal.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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