i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
