What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
