Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.