I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
