At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
