Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
