I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
