Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
