He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize