i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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