Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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