oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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