the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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