If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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