So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
