Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
