ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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