sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
