oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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