thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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