I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Enjoy the penises
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize