and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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