So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
zippers are such a cool invention
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
