A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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