No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
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