And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize