Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
