if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
