____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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