I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
