I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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